A mini-ficlet about Spencer’s thoughts as Carly got ready to leave. Because this episode just made me love him more than ever.
He can still remember the first day she walked in the door, holding onto their father’s hand tightly and towing her little pink rolling suitcase behind her clumsily. Her face lit up when she saw him, and she squealed his name before running into his arms.
That night he had held her tightly as she cried herself to sleep because she missed daddy. And as he stroked her hair and felt her soft breath on his neck, he felt the weight of the responsibility on his shoulders. He was all she had now. Could he protect her? Raise her to do the right thing? Help her become the best she could be? He was barely an adult himself. Could he be everything she needed? The fear of failing the little sister he loved dearly had him clutching her closer, his chest tight.
He blinked as the image of that little girl disappeared and he was faced with a young woman ready to explore the world for herself. And that fear came back. He thought he had had more time before she went off to college. Was she ready? Had he done enough? Had he failed her? Left her to do the hard work of growing up on her own?
“You made me laugh…and made me feel safe. You showed me that being a grown up doesn’t means that you have to stop being silly…and creative…and fun.”
He heard the echo of those words as he sat in his apartment, empty of her vibrant presence, and he smiled softly even with his heavy heart.
Maybe he hadn’t done such a bad job after all.